Monday, June 16, 2008

My First Post

For those who do not know me for the last 14 months I have been dealing with my Father's death. It has been a hard journey. I feel that his death was the result of two doctors that were supposed to taken care of him, instead they misdiagnosed the signs of a broken neck. It was not until we had him transferred to another hospital that we found out about the extent of his injuries. The shock and horror we felt as a family when the neurosurgeon came and told us what his out come would be. Dad had told us that he did not want to be on life support and we had to respect his wishes . He passed a few hours later in the early morning light with his family gathered around him, and as my daughter stated " It was a little bit of Heaven to see him on his way" You can read about the sweet memories of Dad on Kacy's blog http://manysizesofjo.blogspot.com/2008/04/forecast-for-todayrainy-with-chance-of.html
One of the hardest things in my mind is when my Mom had to look into his beautiful blue eyes and tell him he could not be fixed, for months I would see his eyes in the clouds when I looked up, at night when I would be drifting off to sleep, it has been haunting. I do not try and pretend to be a good writer or a poet I struggle with words and spelling but there have been days that I did nothing but carry a piece of a paper and pencil writing thoughts that had taken over my mind. It is very hard for me to keep things in order which I am sure you will soon find out . I have people who have helped me with the things I write, THANK YOU! you know who you are. The first poem is about his last hours at the hospital, it is a unbleiveable experience to be with someone when they pass just six weeks earlier I was at this same hospital watching the birth of my granddaughter both were life changing events for me.

6 comments:

Sioux said...

I am so glad to finally see something here. And I'm even more impressed about your subject matter, as I know how difficult it has been for you to accept the death of Clyde. I know that writing will become a source of strength for you and give you peace as you are able to put into words the feelings of your heart. I can't wait to see more...more of your poetry, more of your many other talents displayed for others to enjoy, and I especially love the photo of that mischievous little imp to the right {my side, if we're in the car}! I love you, Whitey!

whitey said...

Thank you for your love and support, I know I have bugged you a lot but then again that's what nieces are for right??

"Jo" in many sizes said...

Mom, thank you for putting your feelings out there for us to get an insight into what you are feeling. Your words are wonderful, though sad, they are wonderful. We are here for you, and love you always.

Kare Bear said...

You have no idea how glad I am that you have finally chosen to share your feeling. I know it helps me daily to vent.I can't imagine what it has been like for you to loose you daddy. You are truly stronger then I could ever be. I love to read your Poems and am going to enjoy reading your blog. We love you!
Kari

Janda said...

Clydene- I am so glad you are doing this. Since losing my mom and grandma within five months of eachother, my blogs have been an amazing outlet for the grief, tears, happy and sad memories. Even just being able to pull up my blogs and seeing the poems, pictures and tear - jerking ramblings has been the best therapy (next to lots of time pondering the heavens and crying). I hope you don't mind, but I will add your blog to mine as a link. I will visit here often and look forward to reading your posts. You know how to find me if you ever need me. Thanks again for all of your support, now I am offering mine. Love you! Janda

~Red Tin Heart~ said...

That is so hard. Been there with John. It is awful to lose those we love the most.
I am sending you love, Nita